Going Down Slowly: My Boyfriend's Relapse Into Drug Addiction

by Kelly
(Lancaster, CA)

I myself am a recovering alcoholic approaching my 5th year of sobriety, last year I met a man whom told me he himself had been free of booze and meth for 6 years, I believed it. Then it came about that 2 years ago he had been suspended from work for pissing dirty in a workplace drug test for pot, he told me he quit then.

Well, a month ago he was laid off and about a week later he came home eyes red as a tomato and acted stupid and stoned, I knew in my heart he was stoned, so I asked and his reply was "maybe", so I told him to shut the f up and that he was a b****h and a *p****y and a junkie, he told me that he wanted to tell me had relapsed. But didn't know how.

That was a month ago and with each day I see his dependency deepen; ever morning he tells me he is going to the Starbucks drive-thru, well, when I go it takes about 5 minutes, well for him, 45 minutes and he comes back glossy eyed, who in the hell NEEDS weed at 8:30am?

The hardest part for me is I have a 4 year old son from a marriage that ended 3 years ago thanks to the suicide of his father, whom himself was a recovering drug addict; my boyfriend doesn't understand the expected hatred I have for drug abuse, hell, it cost my son a normal family life, induced the status of being a widow on me and shamed the living hell out of me, but, he puts the "beautiful MJ" above his beautiful girlfriend (me) and he son.

I am moving out on my own, just got a new teaching job and have come to the realization that my career and my son come well before my need to be the girlfriend of anyone, especially a drug addict.