Heart Broken By A Recovering Addict

(Stamford, CT USA)

I fell in love with a wonderful man! One month into our relationship he told me that he's a recovering drug addict, most people would be scared but I listened, prayed with him and even attend meetings with him.

We have 6 months together and everything is going great until 2 weeks ago he dumped me!! I was crushed! I Cried! He wasn't the same person. He called 2 days later and apologized. He said he made a mistake.

We spoke for 1 week, we were good, we went to a meeting on that thursday and the friday he dumped me again. He's 45 years old, has 13 years of clean time, he goes to church and if he's out of town he'll find a meeting to go to.

I give him 100% support all the time, I love him and I'm in love with him. Why is he doing this to me? I would do anything for this man because I'm very proud of him and his accomplishments. Please help me to understand. Thanks for listening

God Bless

Answer

The only person that can help you understand is this man himself. Ask him to explain why he keeps breaking up with you and that he at least owes you an explanation considering you've spent 6 months together.

When it comes to relationships, there is no way to really know what someone's underlying motives are unless they tell you. So ask him.

The fact that he's got 13 years worth of clean time means he should no longer have any issues about being in a relationship. It's usually hard for addicts to form healthy relationships early in recovery because they've got so much stuff to process, and that's why it's usually recommended you don't enter into a new relationship for at least your first year.

But since that's no longer the case with this man - the only person who can really tell you 'why' is him. So speak to him and ask him to be honest so that you know, which will either allow you try and do something about it or move on.

But don't hold on if it's clear he can't commit to you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It's better to deal with the pain now and seek happiness with someone else, than prolong and hold onto something that will just lead to continuous pain and heartache.

Good Luck and God Bless

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