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How Do I Know if my Wife is an Alcoholic?

My wife drinks a full bottle of wine every night. If we go out she makes sure she brings some.

Our son is currently in the hospital, day 10 of 12, and we are spending alternate nights with him. She brings and consumes a full bottle of wine with her each night she is there. She will not talk about it, she says it tastes good.

It is one of the first things she does when she gets home from work every night. She comes to bed late, we have no sex life to speak of, she reeks of alcohol from her pores every night when she comes to bed and often the next morning.

Answer

How long has your wife been drinking this much? I think it's safe to assume that your wife drinking a bottle of wine a night has a serious problem.

Whether or not that has developed into full blown alcoholism yet depends on whether she has become dependent (physically or mentally) and has lost the ability to control her drinking (i.e. can stop after a glass or two), which sounds like she has.

There are a number of different articles in the alcoholism symptoms section I suggest you read that will provide you with a number of different signs you can try and identify in your wife.

Even if your wife is an alcoholic, the difficulty your face is the fact that she is likely to be in denial about the nature/extent of her problem. Denial is the biggest obstacle an addict or alcoholic faces to receiving proper help and treatment for their addiction.

To help you process and better deal with the situation you are faced, I recommend you find an Al Anon meeting in your area to attend. These meetings are for family members and loved ones of alcoholics, and so you'll be able to meet and learn from others going through what you are, which can be a massive help.

The biggest thing you need to remember however, is that an alcoholic is entirely responsible for their addiction ... and ultimately overcoming it. The sad reality is that there isn't usually a lot you can do to help - unless your wife decides she wants to be helped.

I really hope you manage to get through this and that everything works out for the best. Take Care.

Comments for How Do I Know if my Wife is an Alcoholic?

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Oct 16, 2013
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Injured serviceman
by: Anonymous

I'm worried about my wife. I was blown up in afghan in 09 and since then suffer from black out 3-5 times a week. I wake up and go down stairs to find my wife drinking wine. Apparently because she doesn't drink Sunday and Monday means she hasn't got a problem ( said in a sarcastic voice) however she can quite easily polish off two bottles a night on her own and if we go to parties gets drunk and aggressive.
I'm at the end of my patients here and if it wasn't for my two sons and my disability is walk out. I really don't know where to go from here. She won't talk about it and I do love her

Oct 29, 2012
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Relationship choice
by: Anonymous

Married 27+ years to a once beautiful and smart woman. She's 53 now and looks like hell. Drinks EVERY night... Vodka cocktail then moves to the red wine wine the rest of the evening. She's on anti-depressants and there's NO conversation after 8pm that makes any sense. She just drinks and reads her book all night. I finally had enough and demanded marriage counceling. She wouldn't go, so I went alone. I'm now divorced. The kids, 20 and 16, get it as well. Drinking will destroy not only your health but relationships as well.

Aug 03, 2011
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my wife is a alcoholic
by: nico

she is working in our family business her work is slow and never up to standard.she stays late after everybody left and then drink her wine which she hides.today she started while everybody was still there,then she eat sweets to hide the smell.sometimes i wish she just die,her whole family was alcoholics and she suffered as a child just to make the same mistake now that she is a grown up

Apr 13, 2011
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im not alone
by: Anonymous

my wife first thing when she gets home is open a bottle of wine are sex life is almost never and when i get some she makes me feel like its a burden for her we have been togather for 14 years and have lots of goals she is very strong willed and thats one of the qualitys that i like and also dislike i hope she will see the damage she is doing to both our lives and change

Sep 25, 2010
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For Beside Myself
by:

It's time you start to set boundaries in your relationship and make it clear to your wife that things can't keep continuing the way they are. A relationship with an alcoholic doesn't work - because it's a one way relationship. Your wife needs to address her alcoholism, and if she's not prepared to do that, you need to seriously consider whether your marriage can continue. You don't have to stay stuck. You always have choices. And don't feel you have to protect your wife, she is responsible for the choices she makes, and if that gets her in trouble, then so be it. Because that might be the wake up call she needs. Good Luck

Sep 19, 2010
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I feel like I wrote this letter
by: Beside Myself

Wow, this is incredible I am going through the same thing with my wife. The sad part is that she went back to school 9 years ago and graduated with a Dr's degree in Medicine from a very prominent school. It kills me to see her like this. I don't know if it's because she doesn't Love me anymore or if it's just her genetic makeup. Her dad is an alcoholic. I try and tell her Mother about the abuse but she doesn't want to hear it or believe it. Maybe it's me but she has on average a 6 pack a night. She just walked by me with her 3rd beer at 7pm. She is killing herself and I can't do a DAMN thing about it. At night the stench that comes from her is over bearing at times, she comes to bed late and then wants nothing to do with me (at times). I just don't know what I can do without screwing up her career, I know it's just a matter of time before something bad happens. I am unemployed and she throws it in my face all the time. She went to college and for 8 years never had to work. I feel like she is now holding me h,ostage. Do I leave? Do I stay? Do I ignore what she is doing and just let her continue to kill herself? I don't know anymore. She says i'm boring that I never want to do anything with her. Well she is right, cause I don't like going to bars to watch her down beer after beer and in most cases it's in front of my 15 year old son. I do ask her if she would like to catch a movie or go bowling and she always says no that she doesn't enjoy that kind of stuff. I just don't know what to do anymore... Thanks for your time, it's nice to have a captured audience...

Oct 15, 2009
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Looks like it
by: Anonymous

If she's letting herself go to the extent that she smells of alcohol like that, then it seems like it's a pretty good sign she is an alcoholic. 'Normal' drinkers (apart from the odd binge possibly) don't let themselves go like that. She needs to do something. If you can get her to AA or into treatment, that would be a great start.

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