Husband's Nephew Stabbed While Purchasing Drugs: Was leaving the State the right thing to do?

by Brenda
(Washington)

My husband and I received a phone call last week to tell us that his nephew had been stabbed in the chest while trying to purchase drugs. He and his family (wife and two children, ages 2 and 4) had just moved to New Orleans, LA about 10 days prior to.

He has recovered from the wound after open heart surgery and is out of the hospital, not because he was released from the Dr's care, but because he walked out. His wife called us to tell us that the police investigating the stabbing had discovered that he had the children in the vehicle with him on several of his trips to purchase drugs.(They were not with him when he was stabbed, thankfully)

She was angry and frightened that he had taken the children with him, and asked for our assistance to relocate to Spokane WA, where her mother resides. My husband flew to LA and rented a U-Haul truck and brought her to Spokane.

Before leaving LA, he talked to the nephew and took him to a rehab center that did not have room for him at the time, but he was supposed to check into Mental Health the day they left for WA. He was a no-show. As his family is now gone, he has no access to money (he has no job) but he knows where to go for help.

I know support is important to recovery, but his wife felt it more necessary to get the children away from potential harm. I struggle with my feelings as to whether or not we did the right thing bringing them so far away.

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Hi Brenda

The safety and well-being of the children need to be the absolute priority, and his wife made the absolute correct decision in wanting to relocate somewhere safe. Just imagine if something had happened to them while he was on one of his drug runs?

Being a drug addict in no way justifies his behavior. In fact what he did is inexcusable. Your husband did the right thing trying to get him into a drug rehab program, but apart from that he shouldn't feel obligated into doing anything else.

Support is important once an addict chooses to embrace a life of recovery and is prepared to do the work required to achieve and maintain a life of sobriety.

But when a drug addict doesn't want help and chooses not to make use of the opportunity to address their addiction and make a fresh start, then they have to live with the consequences of that, because there is nothing anyone can then do to help them. And then trying to 'help' or 'support' usually just further enables their addiction.

So him losing his family and them moving away could end up being the best thing that happens to him, because it will force him to wake up to the cold, hard truth of his addiction and the consequences it has brought. Because the reality is that it usually takes an addict reaching their emotional and spiritual bottom before they're ready to change.

Take Care

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