I Believe My Sister Is an Alcoholic. She Is Also Abusive.What do I do?

by Joanne
(Cape coral, FL)

My twin sister was bulimic for 15 years and supposedly was cured. She has been drinking heavy for the last 25 years and I believe she is bulimic again, as she has lost a lot of weight quickly.

Her first husband kicked her out due to drinking and running around. She married again & it ended in divorce. She is married now to an alcoholic and a man that is obsessed with things and drinking. My sister is abusive to me and my husband and causes turmoil when we try to go out with them.

She has been cruel to me, screams & has hit me. We have decided to stop all contact with them because it is so hurtful all the time. She causes a scene then goes to all her drinking buddies and spreads rumours about us ... I cannot take this any longer ... Please help?

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped Joanne. So if your sister wants to destroy her life through alcoholism and the poor choices she continues to make, you are not obliged to have her a part of your life, especially if she is going to abuse you and make your life unpleasant. Why would you?

Eating disorders and addictions often go hand in hand, and are symptoms of troubled minds and deeply unhappy people, typically with low self-esteem.

So while it's natural to want to somehow be there for your sister and feel the need to want to do something ... the reality is until she is ready to change, nothing you say or do will make any difference.

And if she's going to make your life hell when you try and reach out and spend time with her, you don't have to stand around and take it. You did the right thing by cutting all contact. No one should have to put up with that.

Get on with your life ... and while you should never stop loving her or hoping she one day recovers, you and your husband should spend time with people you enjoy spending time with and who uplift you, rather than bring negativity into your lives.

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