I Have Two Grandsons Who Are Heroin Addicts

(Alabama)

They have been to several rehabs with no success. These were short term treatment centers. They are both 26 years old. It is tearing our family to pieces. One of my grandsons father owns a business and his son works for him but is stealing him blind, the other grandson's father was killed at age 26 and he lives with me.

He can't work as his pay goes for heroin. I try not to give him money but I am too weak to say no to him. Is there any place for long term care for young men who have no insurance and the family has no money to pay for it?

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

The best thing to do is use this Substance Abuse Treatment Locater by the US Department of Health and Services to find a long-term program that is totally or at least partially subsidised.

They have a number you can call as well under the FAQ section, so it may be worth doing that too, if you don't come up with anything having used the search facility.

The thing is though, having your grandson effectively sponge off you by giving him money and allowing him to live with you means you're probably going to struggle to convince him to go to rehab and get the professional help he needs ... and even if you do, unless he really wants to change, the best rehab program in the world won't help him.

So the first thing you need to do is stop enabling him. That means holding him accountable for the choices he makes, and forcing him to live with the consequences, no matter how unpleasant they may be.

And that starts with telling him unless he goes into a treatment program and gets clean, he can no longer live with you, and all financial support comes to an end. Because until you do, what incentive is there for your grandson to overcome his heroin addiction when you effectively take care of him and make sure all his needs are taken care of, especially those that feed his addiction?

It may be hard for you, in which case you need to be going to Nar-Anon so you can learn from, and be supported by, other family members who are in a position similar to you. Your grandson is never going to take changing seriously while grandma makes life so easy for him, so you need to cut off the oxygen supply that feeds his addiction before he's ever going to be ready to quit.

And getting your head around that, and finding the strength/courage to do so isn't easy, which is where Nar-Anon can help you. You can do this! Good Luck

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