Just Venting Because My No Good Drug Addict and Alcoholic Boyfriend Has Let Me Down Again

by Amanda
(GB)

I just feel like I need to vent because I’ve been let down AGAIN by my drug addicted, alcoholic, doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself boyfriend.

I had an important awards function at work coming up and he promised me he would be clean and sober so he could come with me. It meant a lot to me because I was receiving a special achievement award and so wanted him there to share that with me. And it’s not really the kind of event you want to go to alone anyway.

I gave him close on two months notice and asked him really nicely, in fact practically pleaded, that just for this one night he stay off the drugs and alcohol, so that he’d be able to share the occasion with me.

The big day arrives and guess what? I get home from work for us to begin getting ready and he’s so high and out of it, he’s practically comatose. So of course he can’t come with me, and an evening that should’ve been a highlight for me, was totally ruined because I was so angry and upset.

This kind of things keeps on happening, but I keep hoping the next time will be different. I almost feel like I’m making too much of a big deal about this (like he tries to tell me), but it’s more about the fact that being let down like this happens all the time. Why I put up with him still I don’t know?

Answer

As sad and frustrating as your situation is, it is unfortunately the reality of life with a drug addict/alcoholic. Addiction is a selfish disease. The addict ends up thinking of no one but themselves. If, and until your boyfriend gets clean, the situation is unlikely to change.

Remember your choice in all this - choosing to stay in a relationship with someone who continues to behave in the way they do because of their addiction. Maybe it’s time you empower yourself to insist that if your boyfriend want to keep you as his girlfriend, he gets helps and comes clean, or you’re going to find someone you can rely and depend on.

I know that isn’t easy, but if you don’t make that choice, it’s unlikely much will change. You said it yourself, why do you still put up with him? You might have codependency issues that need addressing. I think it’s time you start deciding what is going to best for YOU in the long run, no matter how hard those decisions may be, and then trusting everything will work out for the best.

I'm sure it will.
Take Care.

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