My 19 Year Old Son Got a Prescription for Marijuana and He Has No Illness. How Do I Handle This?

by Marie
(California)

What do you do when your 19 year old son says that there is nothing wrong with pot? And doesn't acknowledge he has a problem? My son was kicked out of his dorm last year for smoking pot in his room which led to him deciding to withdraw completely from school - he then was pulled over and given a citation for possession of less than 1oz of marijuana which led to a suspended license with driving only allowed to work and school.

He moved back in our house and has a job (20 hours/week) enrolled in community college 11 units ... but tonight my 16 year old daughter told me she smelled pot in our house and when I asked him he showed me a prescription and says he is allowed to smoke it (apparently he got this prescription after his ticket because a friend told him if he had a prescription he wouldn't have gotten the ticket!)

I told him simply marijuana is not allowed in our around our house even with a prescription - but I believe he has been smoking behind our backs for a while now - I've found evidence of water bottles made into pipes etc. The worse thing is my husband does not know that my son has a suspended license or a prescription for marijuana and I find myself keeping a lot from him because when my son was kicked out of the dorm - it caused so much pain in our family.

How do I help my son especially when society is sending him such a strong message that pot is ok -even a doctor!?

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Hi Marie

I would be checking the validity of that prescription because doctors don't just hand out prescriptions for marijuana without good reason - only typically for things like cancer patients in extreme pain. And if it is valid and from a licenced doctor, I would be querying with that doctor on what grounds he's written the prescription.

But ultimately that doesn't get to the heart of the matter because your son is going to smoke marijuana with or without a prescription. So it's a question of how you handle it. And that's where you have to put boundaries in place and make it clear what the ground rules are if he wants to continue living at home - because the only way to help him is to not enable his behavior.

You can't stop your son smoking marijuana, but by having boundaries with clearly defined consequences in place, your son will come to learn that there is accountability to the choices he makes. And if that means you end up telling him he can no longer live at home anymore, then that's a consequence he's going to have to accept if he wants to keep smoking.

You can't stop your son smoking nor can you control what he decides to do with his life. But you do have control over how you respond, and by not enabling him and ensuring there are consequences, hopefully your son will come to learn the concept of personal responsibility.

There is not a lot else you can do. Your son has to want to quit smoking if it's ever going to happen, so it's important that you also don't let his decisions overly effect you by learning to practice healthy detachment.

P.S. If you'd like some additional advice and insight around how to handle your son's marijuana habit, I suggest you take a look at Help! My Child Is An Addict which you can do by clicking Here. It contains a lot of additional information that space constraints don't allow me to go into here.

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