My 22yr Old Daughter Is Doing Cocaine

by j
(sussex)

My daughter is 22yrs old and is doing drugs; cocaine, she is also denying it to me but not her siblings. She lives at home with me and 2 of her siblings, won't pay rent, saying that I have managed to get the odd £5/£ 10 on the odd month.

She will not tidy up or clean up etc. after herself. She stays at a blokes house who she calls her boyfriend 4/5 days a week, he is supplying her and not working, sleeps with other girls.

My daughter is looking thin and not looking after herself. She looks a mess, blames others for things like this. She comes back when I am not there to bathe, eat etc. Have noticed she has been using the computer and looking up loans, lots of them.

We are getting constant phone calls from lots of people asking for her, most are asking for money. She has an attitude of not caring about anything even the fact she owes family lots of money.
What can I do? I don't want her at home anymore - I cant cope with this.

She has no respect for anyone or herself. She is looking/behaving dirty, there are many rumours e.g. sleeping about (I know they are rumours ... but it scares me). She has a job - it was for 35 hours now its getting less and less.

What do I do? What can I do? I don't want her living at my house anymore, I have 2 other children I have to consider, her attitude is already starting to brush off on them. Please, what do I do?

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

There isn't a lot you can do other than ensure making your own and your other two children's happiness and well-being a priority. If your daughter wants to ruin her life, that's her choice, you can't stop her.

So you need to get her out of the house - ask her to leave, and tell her she isn't welcome at home until she sorts her life out. Make it clear to her you love her and that you always will - but you can't stand around and watch her destroy herself, while she also brings her toxic attitude and behaviors into your home which are effecting your other children.

She needs to understand she is an adult and she is responsible for looking after herself now. Leaching off you has to end. So if she wants to take drugs and screw up her life, then that's her choice, you can't stop her.

Encourage her to get professional help and tell her the door will always be open if she cleans up her act and changes her ways, but until that point she's on her own. That unfortunately is all you can do. You can't make someone change who doesn't want to ... and she's only likely to want to do so once the consequences of using drugs becomes unpleasant enough for her. It's called reaching rock bottom.

It isn't easy, but for the sake of your other 2 children, you're going to have to learn how to let go. God Bless

+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com