My Daughter is Committing Suicide a Little Every Day Due To Her Drug Addiction. How Can Anyone Handle This?

by anonymous
(Bellingham,Wa. usa)

I know that I enable by giving her rides, mainly to keep her from where we live in senior housing, I give her food (cooked, so I know she eats, and she does). I have given her money which she has to give to the other junkies to be able to live off the streets. I know that they all use.

It is terrible, but no one wants to help. They say they do but when asked for help, there is a reason why she can't be helped at this time. The programs are full, she needs to find a ride to the methadone clinic, a 100 mile round trip, she needs a certain kind of medical card, it goes on and on and she gets closer to death. blah, blah blah.

Their have been 5 overdoses in our small community since the 1st of the year. I guess that's not enough. Everyone, including the police, know who the users are, and who most of the dealers are. Some are their relatives so they look the other way. If you can come up with a real, workable solution, I would be ecstatic!!!!!

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

As impossible as your situation seems right now, you have to keep believing there is a solution. Your daughter needs professional help for her drug addiction – and if there are no programs available in your community that can help her, look further afield. Send her away if you have to.

Because surely in a country as big as the US, there must be one rehab program you can find that will accept your daughter? Of course you must never stop fighting for your community to take more action regarding the problem of addiction – so that the dealers get arrested and programs are made available to help those in need.

But since right now that doesn’t seem an option, you simply have to work with what you’ve got, even if that does mean it’s not a lot to start with.

Here’s a link to a Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator by the US Department of Health and Services to help get you started. They also have a number under their Q&A Section you can call for assistance. So it’s a matter of doing the hard yards, even if the odds are stacked against you, to try and find a place that will accept your daughter.

And the longer you can get her admitted, the better. For severe addicts, you get programs that last up to 6 months and even a year. The Salvation Army apparently also has a treatment program apparently. So it’s a matter of doing what you can now for your daughter, and then over time try and get your community to change their attitude.

Also, you might want to stop the enabling. Why will your daughter ever be sufficiently motivated to get help as long as she knows she can depend on you for food and money etc? She has to be allowed to fall and experience the full consequences of living a life of addiction, before she’ll be ready to turn her life around. Of course it isn’t easy to do that as a parent, but enabling will simply keep your daughter stuck in her destructive cycle for even longer.

P.S. To expand on what I've said here so you can not only start practising the behaviors that are more likely to help your daughter, but so that you can also learn to deal more effectively with the stress, worry and anxiety this is putting you through - I suggest you also look at getting yourself Help! My Child Is An Addict because it will give you some further answers not only how best you can help your daughter, but also how to make sure you help yourself.

+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com