My Daughter Now Buys Suboxone Off the Street

by rose
(pennsylvania)

I am so beside myself, I am drinking because I am so sad, I am not much of a drinker but I am so sad and so scared. I have an only child, daughter who I confronted in April of 2010 because someone had 'outted' her to me.

She admitted an almost 4 yr addiction to a basic dose of oxy, although she has tested drug free I found a suboxone in a vial she dropped in the house, she is 24. I think she is now addicted to street suboxone but she is lying, I cannot move forward, I am frozen in this moment and I want to give up.

There has been a year plus of many challenges and I just don't know what to do, tough love will put her out there with who knows what. I cannot live like this, she seems to have no clue how this is messing up her future. HELP please

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Hi Rose

While it's tragic to witness your daughter succumb to her addiction, and the feeling of helplessness overwhelming - don't let the poor choices your daughter is making with her life destroy you. You need to go inside and find that strength within that will help you get through this.

And part of that comes from understanding addiction in relation to a child or someone you love. There are 3 principles you need to remember in that regard. 1) You didn't cause your daughter's drug addiction. 2) You can't control her addiction. 3) You can't cure her of her addiction.

So you need to be strong and remind yourself that while as much as you love your daughter and hate to see her go through this - you can't control the choices she makes ... and so you're going to have to let her learn from her mistakes and the consequences that come with taking drugs.

She has to want to change and turn her life around before anyone can help her. That's why you're going to have to learn to let go and trust that your daughter is learning the lessons she needs to. So to ensure your own sanity and well-being it's important you don't neglect your own needs ... find things to do that nurture you spiritually, emotionally and physically.

You also have to be careful not to enable your daughter. By trying to 'protect' often all you're doing is enabling, and by not allowing your daughter to take full responsibility for her actions and the consequences that come with those, she'll never be fully motivated to do anything about her drug problem.

It isn't easy, but you can do it. It takes strength and courage, but the first steps are always the hardest. Try and also surround yourself with people that can support you and understand what you're going through - groups like Nar-Anon (for family of drug addicts) can be wonderful for that.

Don't give up on yourself. You can get through this. Look after yourself and take care.

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