My Daughter's Drug Abuse Is Progerssing! How Do I Get Her to Accept Treatment?

by Annie
(Canada)

Hi, My sixteen yr old daughter has ran away from home and living with other families for 4 months now. Originally she was still somewhat responsible still attending school and such. She was living with her boyfriend and his family ( not a good one) and has recently been kicked out of there for unknown reasons.

She is staying with a mother and daughter now that I know nothing of other than they are on assistance. She came for a visit yesterday and was an emotional mess. During this time she informed me that she is not happy or feeling good about her life.

She stated that she is around a lot of heavy drug users and is fearful of her future. She cried harder than I have seen her in a while. I told her my door is always open and that it is best to come home where we can help her sort things out. She turned that offer down as she is fused with this boyfriend.

She is not willing to sacrifice her freedom for our support. I have always known my daughter is a pot head but wasn't so concerned because at her age, I was just that ... we grow up and out of things.

But this morning I found out that yesterday she was coming off E otherwise known as MDMA and this really concerns me ... I need to get her some sort of help before she gets into heavier drugs if she isn't already.

There is an outpatient treatment center here and I have spoken to them today but my question to you is ... How is it most effective to bring up this topic as she is reluctant to accept any help from me mostly!

I feel my daughter quietly screaming for help from me and I cannot and will not fail her. Please if there is any way to approach her that doesn't make her feel as though I am judging her or lecturing (she hates that) her please let me know, thank you. A

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Hi Annie, well there are two ways to go about it. One is use the direct, forceful approach, whereby you insist that she gets help for her drug abuse otherwise there will be severe and unpleasant consequences from your side.

The fact that she's only 16 and still legally under your care, means that's something you should be able to enforce, with the help of the authorities if need be.

Or if you want to use a softer approach to try and get through to her, so that she buys into the idea of getting professional help, you need to try and put yourself in her shoes, and communicate on a level that she'll be able to relate to.

The fact that you also used drugs can become a talking point and is something you can talk to her about and is something she'll probably relate to. Find the common points. What was it like for you? What were the good and bad experiences you had when you were 16. This boyfriend of hers is obviously not a good influence - talk about boyfriends you had and one's that may not have been great.

The more she can relate to you and feels like you're talking to her not only as a parent, but also a friend, means the more likely it is she'll listen to you and start taking your advice.

Hopefully this is also just a phase for her, but if you really are concerned that she starts getting in over her head and that her drug abuse starts getting out of control, means you may have to use the approach where you give her no choice and get her into a program no matter what.

But only you as her mother can decide what the best approach is to use. Parenting isn't an exact science, and at the end of the day all you can do is your best. Take Care

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