My Drug Addicted Son is Out of Control and Trying to Live Off Us for His Problem.

by Frances
(Wisc,)

My son is 25 and has a heroin addiction. He has recently been kicked out for stealing and forging my name on checks and then getting them cashed.

The police escorted him out of my house as I cannot deal with this any more, I would be broke and homeless be the time he got some help. He is staying with a friend and does not have any money, he says that he needs money to help him with his addition till he can arrange to go into treatment.

How bad is the withdrawal and can he die from it? I am concerned but at the same time do not want to support his habit anymore. My big question is should I help him and how do I do that without going broke or him getting really sick?

I love him so much and don't want anything bad to happen to him. I'm desperate for an answer cause he keeps calling and I tell him no.

Or I don't answer the phone which I am having a hard time ignoring. Before long it is going to get to me and I don't want to add to his suffering.

Please help and advise. P.S. I was an enabler and don't want to go that route anymore, I think that its only hurting him more. Thank you!

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Answer

Hi Frances

The fact that you are ensuring your son starts to be held accountable for his actions and experiences the full consequences of his destructive heroin addiction, is absolutely the right way to go. So having made the decision to no longer enable him is the best thing you could have done!

But understand that as an addict, his attempts to manipulate you won't stop just because he's been kicked out of the house. It's part of the nature of addiction - and he'll do anything to continue feeding his drug habit.

Yes, withdrawals from heroin addiction are bad and can be dangerous. But giving him money now doesn't solve anything - because who's to say he will go into treatment for his drug addiction as agreed? Because if you give him money now, he'll keep coming back asking for more, and so rehab may then just not happen.

If you're really worried about the potential drug addiction withdrawal process - take him to hospital where they can supervise everything until he goes to rehab. There he can detox in a safe and supervised environment, and then move onto a proper addiction treatment program.

But giving him money isn't the answer. It will just be a form of enablement. And don't let him manipulate you into thinking otherwise. You've come a long way and are on the right path. Your son needs to experience the consequences of his addiction in full - it's the best chance he has of reaching the point where he's had enough and is ready to turn his life around.

God Bless and Take Care.

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