My Drug Addicted Son is Out of Control. How Do I Handle This?

by Jennifer
(Jacksonville, fl )

My alcoholic/Drug Addicted Son is Out of Control. How Do I Handle This? his only 21 and he gets drunk and causes a lot of problems with me and my husband.

There has been lots of confrontation. I would like to know how to handle this? I love my husband but I also love my son. What can I do?

Answer

Hi Jennifer

You set clear boundaries with your son and tell him if he wants to continue living with you (it sounds like he is), he has to meet certain conditions:

1) He has a month in which to try and sort out his alcoholism and drug addiction.

2) If he hasn't done that - he has to get professional help, i.e. go for proper drug and alcoholism addiction treatment.

3) If he wishes to continue living with you, he has to get a job, pay rent, and do his bit around the house. In other words you're trying to teach him that the free ride he's had up until now is over.

4) Whenever he's in your house, he has to speak to and treat you and your husband with respect.

Failing these things, your son can no longer live with you and he'll have to find his own way. Essentially doing these things is about trying to teach your son responsibility and becoming accountable for his actions.

They may not work (in fact they probably won't) - because your son has to want to listen to you and has to want to change. But they will teach him that poor choices have undesirable consequences and that if he wants to make something of his life, at some point he's going to have to change.

Dealing with an out of control child isn't easy. But you have to be firm and take a stand. You can't control your son anymore, but you can try and make sure you don't allow him to become between you and your husband by practising 'responsible/tough love'.

All the Best

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