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My Girlfriend is Addicted to Crack Cocaine. How Do I Deal With It?

by vincent
(thonotosassa fl)

My girlfriend is addicted to crack cocaine. I love her so much that every time she relapses it makes me want to leave her. Past relationships always involved guys who use drugs and wind up hurting her.

As for me I don't use drugs or drink. We moved in together and I thought that with me it would be easy for her - I don't party and I have a good job and am very big hearted. I sometimes feel that she tries to play me.

I know there is good in her - trying to get it out. This is the first girl I've met with this problem but I can't bring myself to leave her. My friends tell me I should leave her - they say 'she will never love you and she is to cold hearted.' I'm so confused can you please give me some advice?

Answer

Hi Vincent

You can't change or fix your girlfriend - only she can overcome her addiction to crack cocaine. But what you can do is encourage her to get professional help for her drug addiction by ideally going through a proper drug treatment program like found at rehab.

Whether or not she is open or willing to change, no one can say. Many addicts live in denial about their addiction and so aren't prepared to do something about their problem and get proper help. But you can at least try and see what happens.

However if nothing does change, then eventually you have to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want going forward. Because we can't force others to change - so if a relationship isn't giving us what we need, then we have to reconsider if its worth continuing with.

Hopefully your girlfriend is ready to get help and do something about her addiction. But don't feel its your responsibility to fix her - only she can ultimately do it for herself.

Good Luck

Comments for My Girlfriend is Addicted to Crack Cocaine. How Do I Deal With It?

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Sep 06, 2012
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Addict girlfriend.
by: Anonymous

I'm in the same situation. My gf and I were happy and everything was fine for 3 or almost 4 yrs. Then one day she told me she needed to move in with her parents to help them financially. Once we were in separate households she changed almost overnight. She started reconnecting with an ex she claimed was terrible and used to beat her. All of a sudden all these old friends I never met or heard the entire 3-4 yrs started popping out of the woodwork. We grew apart because she used everyone like her friends and family to not spend time with me. She even used her family and her own health problems as an excuse to miss work alot. Eventually she was fired. I'd help her out $20 here $50 there. She'd turn her phone off for days but only made contact when she needed cash. She told me her leaving was temporary but I just found out yesterday after trying to make it work for 2 yrs that she's been smoking crack and cheating on me with three different guys. I'm totally done with her now but it hurts so much. It hurt watching her slowly change overtime and become this cold hearted addict. All I could do was try to help but watched her slide downhill regardless.

Mar 02, 2012
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my girl left of 5 year is having sex for crack
by: Anonymous

Once your girl starts using crack, its over. I was engaged to mine, we'd been together 5 years. She started disappearing over night, and she became hostile and defensive when I asked where she'd been. In Time she used more and one day she'd been gone and not answering her phone for 2 days. When I finally saw her she was with a man I later discovered was a crack dear. We've talked since, and she says she still loves me, but crack rules her now, and for her there's nothing else. You cannot believe a word she says, she will say anything, but she'll do anything for crack.

Nov 02, 2011
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Talk to someone about co-dependency
by: Anonymous

This sounds like my first marriage. In addition to thinking about this as her problem, you may need to consider that you have a problem too, i.e., codependcy. I had the same thoughts and feelings that you have described when I discovered my wife was an addict. I thought it was my job to fix her which does not work. Only the addict can stop. Nothing you do will change that. I tried to help and it did nothing but destroy my life when she failed at rehab. You need to consider that you may be a codependent personality and take steps to understand this and deal with this before she drags you into a depression that ruins your life.

Get some help of your own and for God's sake, don't keep it all inside like I did and let it mess you up too.

Jul 30, 2011
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HEY
by: Anonymous

Hey, im in the same situation as u with my girlfriend,after she came back from europe after a vecation..we got in an arguement, after three days i tried to talk to her but she was so diffrent,carealess...every time i talked to her she;d tell me i need to figure my self out and fix my self..i need time ,,,, after a week i talked to i told we need to talk she was like o.k.. we went to eat some where and started talking,,she was crying and stuff i felt somthing was up,,,i drove her back to her house as she was leaving the car i ask so where we at now,, she said i need to fix myslef i asked whts is your problem that u desperatly need to fix,, she went coke!! i kicked her out of the car and called her names i lost it for real,,,then i felt back she came back and huged me and asked me to go inside the house and talked about it,, she said i did it once an i regret it i was pissed at myslef etc...i was like mm ok,,,said i still love you and stuff...but that made look at her diffrently i have been with her for 3 yrs she hated weed,excessive drinking etc. i was so suprise,,,now its been 2 weeks we havent really hang out when she used to com over all the time i know her family very well,and i ended telling her mother who didnt responded to the issue very well like she dnt care that much but she told she has been so nasty with her latley,,,Now she totly a diffrent person wont leave home she wants to hang out with her druggie frinds,,its a story of a good girl gone bad,, i been trying to get her out of her circle which im sure who got her into doing stuff like this,,,when i asked her she said i wasnt happy i want to feel happy againg,, i was like how stupid,,,it really hurts after that arugment she turned like this she lost all interst in me or any thing,,,i really want to get her back but i dnt know what to do any more,,,sorry if there is grammtic mistakes or spelling mistakes cuz english is my second language,,thnx

Jul 17, 2011
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drink and Cocaine abuse
by: Anonymous

My boyfriend was wonderful for the first 2 weeks of our relationship.We fell in love and was so happy. The I noticed a big change in him..Mood swings, didnt want me around all the time..When I was there he would go for about 10mins each time in the back to the bathroom and tell me he will be right back..I could tell in his actions, even a change in his face..Then oneday I asked him if he was taking Cocaine, he went off on me and was so angry at the time. Well after a few more weeks went bye, we couldn't hold a conversation together without him putting me down, wanted to be alone and then call me 6hrs later to come and see him, and Iike a fool l did..Until the other nite he was so hatefull towards me we said some awfull things to one another and I left..He said I was a mental case and needed help..It's all my fought, he says he never starts it..The other nite going home to my house, halfway there he said turn around, I need to be on my stomping ground..Thats because the people he stays with do the same thing...He said it was over and never contact him again..It's 3 days and nothing from him...I love him so much it hurts, but then I cannot be around him in fear we will argue again..He has also made me very uncomfable around him...

Jun 10, 2011
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let go
by: Anonymous

work on letting go of the need to help her because then you deprive yourself of a relationship in which there is a mutual emotional support. And you start to lose yourself, feel a lot of emptiness when you give so much energy and it's not returned, it has to be a give and take

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