My Heroin and Meth Addiction: So Far Yet So Close

by rebecca
(oregon)

Since I was 13 going on 14 I started to smoke meth and dropped out of school. Lost all my friends and isolated myself, I know right, extremely young. Only a couple years following I started using heroin ... I was 16 going on 17.

But by then I was smoking that drug daily and needed it to survive - I would do anything on H - you can only imagine how much hell I've put myself through. I'm 21 and recently last year started shooting it up - I stopped smoking meth, its been about a year now due to the relationship I'm in.

If it wasn't for him I think I'd still be lost because meth does that to people - makes them avoid everyone and everything that doesn't do meth or drugs. Heroin is still my only problem. I don't go out selling my soul anymore simply because I have money now. Yes sadly my boyfriend supports me because he doesn't want me out there but let me tell you it doesn't make our relationship easy.

He gives me daily lectures and threats. I'm sitting here while he's sleeping contemplating whether I should start my pills to withdrawal that I recently got - and promised I'd take them to get clean, go back to finish school and get a job. But I'm procrastinating - what drug addict doesn't, right?

Either way if it wasn't for him I would still be out in that scary cruel world scuffling for my next fix and yes just recently I've realized how cold and lonely I was and the scary things id put myself through. I'm so much more grateful to be in a permanent home and no longer a couch-surfer. Litterally!

I love him. Because I have been somewhat more normal I have been visiting with my family and getting close to them again, and with that comes finding and reuniting with old buddy's as well. But I don't know what to say when they ask me where have I been in the last 8 to 9 years??!!?? Gosh I hate my life sometimes - but I don't?! :(