My Husband is a Meth Addict, Giving Me and My Kids Emotional Stress Over and Over Again...

My husband has been addicted to Meth more than half of his life now, he is 43. I had never been aware of his addiction until such time that I discovered him having sexual relationship with the nanny of our eldest daughter.

It shocked me upon learning it considering that they were doing those sexual acts in the presence of our 1 yr. old daughter most of the time. I forgave him eventually but that sexual relationships ware repeated to our different household helpers. At first, I couldn't believe that he could commit all those acts as I was thinking it is not a proper behavior of a decent and normal person.

That incident stirred-up my curiosity to investigate all his activities and found out from among his friends and co-workers that he is hooked up to Meth. One time, his former boss phoned me and told that my husband needs help as he is into "his not normal self" oftentimes during work.

He was forced to resign after skipping most of his work schedules. It caused him trouble and engage himself more into drugs. He became more frustrated when a group of manufacturing companies in our area banned him for getting future employment from them.

Since then, he later engaged himself into everyday drinking spree. He became troublesome and always engaged me into fight with hm. In our confrontations, I often ended up crying and him, so neglectful of what I could feel as a wife from his verbal abuses. He often accused me of having an affair with someone else wherein it was him who is always engaged into different illicit affairs. He even tried to invite my brother's girlfriend for a date.

It also made me so disorriented with my own life as I tried to get a job and resign afterwards due to some worries about my husband's condition. But I came-up to a point wherein I almost gave up and started to seek work abroad just to avoid him. I tried to file for a legal separation with him but he always ended up giving me threats.

When I came to Canada, my eldest daughter often had some stories to tell regarding their Dad engaging into illicit affairs again with my sister-in-law's house helper and some other girls. She could even receive wrongly sent messages from their dad containing love messages intended for his mistress.

I told him that we must already start out own different lives apart from each other and that made him so agitated and made false stories about me, telling his sisters and brothers that an English speaking guy phoned him telling him that we are going to have a baby soon. That stirred-up anger among my in-laws and verbally abused my kids telling them that I am unfit to be their mother.

Those painful experiences gave me the notion of putting an end to everything but I do not know how to begin. I've been struggling for 17 years now and I've lost all the love, trust and respect that I had for him. Before I loss my own self rspect, I want to be relieved from all these anxieties. Even my kids are no longer happy to see their dad around. Please help what should I do.

Answer

You get a divorce and start a new life for yourself. That's all you can do. You deserve better than the cheating, lies and manipulation that have been dished out by your drug addicted husband.

He's going to keep doing what he's doing - that's something you can't control. But you can control the choices you make - the choice to find yourself again, pursue happiness, and find real love.

It's certainly not easy, but it's something you have to do for yourself. It's about having the self-respect to say 'enough is enough' and doing whatever you have to, to end this chapter with your husband.

Surround yourself with people who can support you and provide strength and comfort in the quest to build a new life for yourself. Friends, family, support groups like Naranon and CoDA.

The sooner you can divorce your husband and sever all ties with him the better. So do whatever you have to to make that happen. Get a good lawyer and get it done. Then it's time to start focusing on your own needs again and what makes you happy.

It's a journey and won't always be easy, but usually when it feels like our lives are falling apart around us, the door of opportunity and 'new starts' is waiting to be opened.

You can get through this, and no doubt you'll be a much better person for having done so. So good luck and God Bless.

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