My Husband is an Alcoholic and It Brings Out The Worst In Me

by katy
(us)

My husband and I have been married almost 2 years and I have a 5 year old son that calls him dad and thinks of him as his real dad. My husband drinks about a 6 pack every night and sometimes sneaks harder alcohol.

It makes me bitter towards him and he blames me that the reason why he drinks is because I am not pleasant to be around. I want a good role model for my son. Even when he says he's quit he still sneaks it. We have been to marriage counseling and it got better for a little while and he even admitted to the lady he liked to drink. But he has not stopped.

He told my best friend that he needs to drink to sleep at night. What would I do. He disgusts me and I don't even want to kiss him or talk to him or be around him. It is bringing the bad out of me.

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Hi Katy

Your husband obviously isn't ready to quit drinking or do something about his alcoholism. And until he reaches that point, you're going to continue going around in circles with you getting mad/upset with him ... him promising to quit or change (perhaps even doing so for a while) ... but ultimately him not doing so ... and so leaving you back at square one.

So that leaves you with a choice. Either somehow you find a way to make peace with his drinking, and figure out how to be happy in your relationship if he doesn't change - or you have to accept that he doesn't want to change, and so make a decision that will give you and your son the life you want long-term.

Because you have to understand - you can't change or cure an alcoholic. They have to do it for themselves. Yes some alcoholics have changed when given a final ultimatum by their spouses and they're faced with the prospect of losing their family. But even then, many don't.

Until your husband is fully prepared to accept his alcoholism and get the help he needs, this is probably how things are going to be for you. But while you may not be able to control the choices he makes and are powerless over what he does ... you aren't powerless over what you can do with your life and the decisions you make for yourself and son.

So think long and hard what it is you really want. Because no one can make that decision for you. And if you want a little extra help and guidance, feel free to check out Help Me! I'm In Love With An Addict: How To Survive a Relationship With An Alcoholic or Drug Addict. Deep down you'll know what's best for you so don't be afraid to trust your instincts.

Best of Luck

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