My Son is Doing Drugs and I Want To Get Him Help

by Donna
(Canada)

My Son has lost his job because of drugs. I think he is doing it in my home. Stays by himself most of the time. I am very worried and can not go on watching this because he has a lot of debt and his life is falling apart. I don't know how to help him anymore ... I'm very very worried because he has shut everyone out - even me. Please help me or I am going to find him somewhere .

Answer

Hi Donna

I think you should take your son to an Addictions Counselor who can talk to him and assess how bad he is ... and from there make a recommendation about an appropriate course of action.

He might be more inclined to open up to someone neutral and not involved with the family, and that's why I feel an Addictions Counselor would be a good place to start ... to also get him talking about what he's feeling and going through.

It sounds like he's also depressed so taking the drugs just perpetuates the problem. Depending on the severity of his use, he might need to go through a proper addictions treatment program, that will help him get his life on track again.

But you also need to understand something, and I know it's hard for you because he's your son and you want to help him. He has to WANT to 'get better', stop taking drugs and turn his life around. You can encourage and support him ... but unless he wants this for himself, it's unlikely anything you say or do will change the situation.

Encouraging your son to go see someone as I suggested is a good place to start ... and then see how things develop from there. With a bit of luck he'll be receptive to getting help, but understand that isn't always the case.

To gain a better understanding of how addiction affects someone you love and how you can best deal with that - look at joining Naranon, which is for family and loved one's of addicts. The support you'll get there will make it much easier for you to get through this.

One thing to be careful of is that in trying to be overly supportive, you don't enable your son's behavior. He has to learn to take responsibility for his life and where he finds himself ... and so he is the only one who can make the decision to change and turn his life around. You are powerless over the choices and decisions he ultimately makes unfortunately.

I wish you the strength and courage to get through this. Your son's path will unfold as it's meant to, so you need to have faith everything will work out as was meant to be.

God Bless

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