Oxy Abuse: My Girlfriend Has a Problem - How Do I Help Her Realize She's Better Than That?

by Travis
(Casper Wy USA)

I need help! My girlfriend of 2 years is addicted to snorting oxy's. When we first started dating it was a weekend thing once in awhile, now its an everyday thing.

I've been fighting her on for the past nine months and I'm getting to my breaking point, she's lying to me she has no money and if she does it's spent on pills. Whenever I bring it up or want to talk to her about it she flips it and turns it around on me.

What can I do to help her relize that she's alot better than what she's doing?

Answer

Hi Travis

The only way you can become a facilitator in your girlfriend changing - is by no longer allowing her to get away with her lies, and holding her accountable for her behavior.

Call her on it when you know she's lying and has been using - and when she tries to turn the whole thing around on you, tell her you know what she's doing and that you're no longer going to let her do it. Then you walk away and don't let the whole thing turn into a fight.

Whenever you feel the vibe degenerating and her trying to drag things down to her level, stop her and walk away. If she gets the opportunity to turn the situation into a drama, it becomes very easy then to confuse the issue and pin the blame on you.

And then insist that you are no longer going to spend time with her when she's been using. So as soon as you know she's used - tell her if she wants to spend time with you, it's on the condition that she's totally clean and sober.

The point is by creating consequences for your girlfriend when she uses and that you're no longer going to tolerate what she's doing, you're actually showing her that she's worth more than that.

But unfortunately when I said at the beginning you can try and be a facilitator to your girlfriend changing by doing these things, and trying to encourage her to get professional help for her problem - if she's not ready to listen or to change, nothing you say or do will get through to her.

Ultimately she has to want to change. Doing these things might help her get to that point but there are no guarantees. Denial is the biggest obstacle standing in the way of someone with a drug problem changing and getting the help they need.

So start being firm, hold her accountable by no longer allowing her to get away with what she has with you, encourage her to get help - and then you can at least know you've done everything you can. If she then still doesn't want to turn her life around - you're going to have to reconsider your future with her if you're serious about finding happiness with someone.

Good Luck.

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