Ready To Divorce My Alcoholic, Abusive, Inappropriate Husband

by Karen

Hello, My alcoholic, abusive, gambling, inappropriate husband of 17 years feels that my lack of attention, affection, and intimacy has caused the demise of our marriage. I can't seem to make him understand that a person can only take so much over the years before they fall out of love with their spouse.

He is never sorry for his awfulness and maintains I am the cause. I do not want to fix our marriage, he will never fully recover from all of his issues and won't take responsibility, just continues to blame me. He refuses to receive alcohol treatment and continues to abuse and act inappropriately to kids, myself, and in front of other people.

After his awful behavior, the next day acts like not a thing occurred. I firmly feel he is still drinking and want him to move out. He refuses to move out and ultimately, I will have to file for divorce. He has destroyed me and our four kids. Is it normal to not to feel for a person that has done this to a wife??

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Answer

Hi Karen

What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Many people in a relationship with an alcoholic or addict eventually reach the end of their tether, and are no longer prepared to put up with all the toxic elements they bring into a relationship.

Your husband blaming you for the demise of your marriage is simply him living in denial and taking no responsibility for his alcoholism and the destruction its caused. So well done for finally having reached the point where you're no longer prepared to put up with it and want to move on with your life.

Relationships are hard work at the best of times and require ongoing effort and commitment from both sides to make them work. So apart from your husband's alcoholism, his obvious apathy and not making any effort to treat you with love and respect, means its not surprising you no longer have any feelings for him.

For the sake of our own sanity, health and well-being, moving on from a destructive relationship is eventually the only way to go. Until your husband acknowledges his problem and decides he wants to do something about it, nothing is realistically going to change. Moving on won't be easy initially but in the long run you'll be glad you did.

Good Luck

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