Sad Loser: My Junkie Brother

I'm 17, high school senior, about to graduate. My mother is enabling my older 31 year old druggie brother, my other brother older than him by a few months dislikes him very much, wants nothing to do with him.

My dad is their step dad, Mom and him argue every single day over money, mostly my junkie brother taking money every day from her, 10, 20, 30, 5, etc. He doesn't even lie about what it is for anymore, it's either I wanna buy cigs or he needs gas or bus money to get somewhere.

We are far from rich, always struggling, I haven't been able to get new clothes for over a year now. My mom's car is totaled, just rotting since we have no money to fix it. My druggie brother is the one who crashed it, she lent it to him for his job but then he lost his job and kept the car.

He crashed my aunt's car badly too, but my mother paid for the insurance and said he owes no debt to my aunt or anything. He stays with us, has friends in and out every other night at 2, 3, 4 am. All tweakers. He has no car due to no long lasting job.

His friends are all junkies too, my Mom just looks past it and gives him whatever he wants, food, her laptop, her cell phones that he sold and she buys another one to repeat the process. She will let him take whatever is mine to use, phone, ps3, games, movies, laptop, etc. She says that she paid for it so I have no say, but truth is my dad is the only one working in the house so he pays for every single thing.

My mother bought him things with my dads money, a laptop, a flatscreen tv, a desktop, two new cell phones, and he stole the dvd player we got her. All of this made us even poorer to where we had to move into a small apartment since we couldn't afford rent for a house. For what? He sold and traded every thing for drugs.

But she still loves him, punishes me for any wrong thing, never tells him No or says he did wrong. She saw him hit his old girlfriend in the lip, my mother said the girlfriend probably deserved it. Even let that gf and her two kids move in with her and my junkie brother.

She takes out all her anger on me and my other brother, we do nothing but avoid him and tell her she needs help. She screams, curses, tells us it's her money and house (which is not true.) So she can give him whatever, and she justifies that she owes him for babysitting me years ago, for helping her out more than me and my other brother. He was sober then, but completely different now.

I am a senior, need my license and ID and a job before I can leave this hell-hole so have no way out but suicide. Her harsh yelling, insults, etc. are hurtful and make me cry each time. I can't take this!