Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Help Header

Home Page
Shop
Advertising
Contact Us

Should I Stop Drinking Because My Husband Has?

by Angie
(MN)

My husband has been sober for just over 2 years. I don't have a drinking problem. I do like to be able to have a couple beers with the girls when we go out (very rarely) but my husband insists that I am a hypocrite and that I shouldn't be drinking to support him.

I do not have any alcohol in the house and I am supporting him but I am just so confused as to why I should have to change everything about myself now because he has a problem?

Answer

Hi Angie

Alcoholism is your husband's addiction and a disease he is entirely responsible for.

So the fact the he expects you to not drink because he can't, is on his part being unreasonable and I think he needs to examine why he feels that.

There are millions of people like yourself who can drink alcohol responsibly and not let it become a problem - so you shouldn't feel any guilt about enjoying yourself occasionally when you're out with your girlfriends.

The fact that you are also supportive by not keeping any alcohol at home and don't seem to drink much in front of your husband means I think you're doing everything you can.

This is your husband's issue and he needs to come to terms with it.

All the best.

Comments for Should I Stop Drinking Because My Husband Has?

Average Rating

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 02, 2013
Rating

MY WIFE DOESN'T KNOW SHE'S AN ADDICT
by: Anonymous

while i was sober my wife continued to drink admiddedly for effect. She admitted she was an alcohlic when we visited her daughter in rehab and now i'm getting clean again and she says she no longer has a problem. she has drank a few times and got a buzz on whitch changed her attitude towards things (for bad) Now its all me and my A.A. shit she says. how do i get her to realize her addicted behavior.

Feb 21, 2010
Rating

I don't agree
by: Anonymous

I keep hearing everyone say that it is "his problem and not yours". I don't agree. If it is a problem for him, it is a problem for you. That's how marriage works. It becomes an "US" issue. If you care about him enough to do your best to support him, whats the big deal giving up those drinks you barely have? What's more important, those couple drinks or your husbands health and well being?

Oct 30, 2009
Rating

his sobriety
by: Ron H

It seems to me that your use of alcohol is jeapordizing his sobriety. He is not on stable ground and needs further help.I would hope that you do not drink in front of him,or come home intoxicated and get into an arguement over your use of alcohol. The less he knows about what you do with the girlfreinds the better he will be.
You state that you don't have an alcohol problem. Denial is one of the tools of an alcoholic to continue to drink. You may be a functioning alcoholic.Examine and question your own use and ask for help in deciding if you are headed for trouble.Many people don't realize they are in trouble until it's too late and their life begins to unravel.

Oct 15, 2009
Rating

No
by: C-P

It's your husband's addiction and he is being unreasonable to expect you to stop drinking entirely. It is his problem ... not yours. So long as you remain respectful and supportive of his condition, it shouldn't preclude you from enjoying a drink.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Addiction and Alcoholism Effects on Family Questions Archive.

Return to Alcoholism Help and Drug Addiction Help Home Page

+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com