What Should I Do About My Drug Addicted Dad and Alcoholic Mom - Give Up or Just Hold Out?

I am a 16 year old kid and i have a drug addicted dad and an alcoholic mom. At first it wasn't so bad at home but as I got older I learned what they were doing to themselves and to me.

My dad has been a long time weed user which always bothered me but I always let it go because no matter what he was my dad. My mom on the other hand started with her drinking problem later in life when I was around 12 years old.

Later on at home my mom's drinking had gotten her into multiple arguments with my dad until one day they both came home drunk and started to argue as usual until they started to holler at each other.

Then I went to stop it but when I got to the living room my dad had slapped my mom to the ground - this was the first time I've ever seen my mom hit so I went berserk and went at my dad but my mom stopped me and made him leave, but one day later she brought him back into my life.

I love my dad but I could never forgive him for that but she didn't care what I thought about it. But soon enough the arguing started again and was worse and my mom started drinking frequently and almost everyday.

I don't know what to say to them because in my dads eyes I'm the trash in the family and useless in life which hurts not having the love of your parents. Even though he's cheated on her, lied to us, and even left us for three years and still comes back because my mom lets him.

I've gone down wrong roads in life because of them - I just couldn't handle it anymore so I was cutting and obtained a drinking problem as well over all the constant fights. There's a lot more details but those are too personal to add in.

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Answer

What your parents are doing sucks. I remember the fighting all too well when I was a kid and my parents also used to fight about my Mom's drinking. I still carry a lot of the scars of what went on at home from when I was a kid, but now that I'm older I've made peace with what happened and learnt how to move on.

Unfortunately you can't do much about their choices. It's unlikely anything you say or do at this stage will make your Dad want to do something about his drug addiction or your Mom something about her alcoholism.

But you can use all this negativity in your life as motivation to want to make something out of your life. Think about what you would like your life to be like one day, and then start working really hard towards making that happen. Having something to focus on and distract you from everything going on at home will also help - for me it used to be sports, what could it be for you?

And then find someone you can talk to like a Counselor at school or something. Someone you can trust. Because you don't want to be carrying the burden of everything going on at home alone. Don't make the mistake I did by bottling everything up and feeling too scared to talk about things. Talking about 'our stuff' makes a big difference in how we feel and being able to cope.

Soon you're going to be old enough to move out of home and start making a life for yourself. So hang in there and start thinking about what you can do. And don't be afraid to dream big. You can do anything you set your mind to. Growing up in a dysfunctional home sucks, I know, but it doesn't mean you can't go onto achieve great things with your life.

Dream big, work hard, and one day you'll look back and see the hardships and struggles you're going through now as having been a blessing - because they'll have made you a stronger and better person.

Good luck and take care my friend.

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